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I stood in a crowded room
and watched as we went around
as each person tore a little piece of themselves out to show the crowd
some eagerly
some with caution
some, I’m sure, with lies
but everyone watches
and my internalized self judges such open souls
as I refuse to speak my truths with a loud beating heart
I control under my patterned shirt
only wishing someone else could see the blood stains
and pry these misguided lies out of me
that I tried for years to soak up
with the same darkened towels that have weighed me down
but all I do is listen as my facade drops through my stomach
as they pass on to someone else
and quietly I realize I’m the weakest here.

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